Lie #7

Let's revisit another lie-- something the world tells us that we sometimes unquestioningly believe.

Lie #7:

Vengeance is sweet.

This weekend, I enjoyed my first Western and saw the remake of True Grit.   **spoiler alert**

Persistent 14 year-old Mattie Ross journeys to Fort Smith, Arkansas in the 1870s, determined to extract justice for her father's death.  Mattie bargains for the assistance of the U.S. Marshall Cogburn: "they tell me you are a man of true grit."  With the help of the drunkard U.S. Marshall and a stubborn Texas Ranger, they journey across the Indian Territory to capture Tom Chaney, her father's remorseless murderer, and have him hanged for the crime.  The trio persevere the harsh elements of the land, the constant threat of harm, and encounter both the dead and soon-to-be-dead.  'True grit' aptly describes not only the whiskey-prone quarrelsome Rooster Cogburn, but also the egocentric talkative tongue-tied Ranger LeBoeuf, and surprisingly the the tenacious, feisty, smart-tongued Mattie.  Mattie is coming-of-age in a ruthless world, and Mattie relates with Cogburn and LeBoeuf as twisted father and brother figures.  But I digress....

Mattie unexpectedly stumbles on the trail of the murderous Chaney when she goes alone to draw water from the nearby river.  She hesitates to shoot, and is instead abducted.  Mattie has a second opportunity.  The moviegoer watches as Cogburn gets sidetracked, LeBoeuf takes a blow to the head, and young Mattie confronts Chaney face-to-face.  Shotgun in hand, she points the barrel at Chaney.  The entire theater fell silent, wondering: would she do it?  Could she kill him?  After all, he murdered her father in cold blood.  Would she pardon him, as her father had?  That mercy cost her father his life.  As I watched the film, I silently wished she would show him mercy.  But there was a part of me that wanted her to avenge her father's death.  I'm not sure even Mattie gave this choice much thought.  She pulled the trigger and Chaney fell.  I didn't know whether to cheer or cry.  All three returned home from their adventure, minus the arm Mattie lost due to snakebite.

In the final scene of the movie, a gray-haired Mattie Ross returns to Arkansas to seek out her childhood companions, unsuccessfully.  She is depicted as a cold, hardened, old maid.  Her lips are tight, and her eyes are steeled.  Retribution had become a thief.  Mattie's quest for justice stole not only her arm.  She lost her compassion and mercy.

We often rejoice at justice served.  Did some of us applaud as Stephen King's Carrie set the prom ablaze after being the victim of cruel schoolgirl jokes?  Kill Bill (which I have never seen) grossed $70M in the name of revenge.  Braveheart, V for Vendetta, Gladiator, Star Trek II the Wrath of Khan, and even the almost-chick-flick Sleeping with the Enemy depict revenge as a major plot.  I was even pulling for the brainiacs in Revenge of the Nerds.  My kids cheered on The Karate Kid. On the flip side, we are uneasy with a due-punishment thwarted (The Lovely Bones).

The need to enforce punishment and inflict suffering on those who've wronged us seems to be a primal urge, fueled by wrath and fury.  Revenge, simply, is getting even.  It is the dark side of reciprocity.  This is a far cry from the lessons we believe in scripture:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary:
     "If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
     if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
     In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. --Romans 12:17-21, Proverbs 25: 21-22

You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord. --Leviticus 19:17

What good comes of exacting revenge on another?  Do we find peace through revenge?  I don't think so.  I suspect Mattie Ross lived a life devoid of love after vindicating her father's death.  She chose to exhume the body of Cogburn and relocate it to her family plot.  It was the closest she ever got to giving him thanks.  I suspect that if you were to peel away the scab of bitterness, vengeance may be the underlying wound that never healed.

There are those who turn justice into bitterness
and cast righteousness to the ground. --Amos 5:6

Do you think the world lies to us by suggesting we should seek our own justice and vengeance?  Can you think of a time when you 'enjoyed sweet revenge'?  How did it affect you?  How did it affect others?

Lie #6

We often buy in to our worldly culture, which may hold very little truth.  The next lie I will discuss is this:

Lie #6:
I deserve ____________.

Really you could put just about anything in that blank space.
The issue here is entitlement.

What is entitlement?
-The notion or belief that one is deserving of a reward or benefit 
-the expectation of a reward
-the right to demand some sort of reimbursement from fate

This is a common attitude I see in my children, reflected in such statements as, "that's not fair" or "you owe me" (typically followed by whining).

The sad truth is this:  the lie of entitlement has been perpetuated by many adults.

JG Wentworth depicts this quite well in their TV commercial regarding structured settlements and annuities:
"Its MY MONEY, and I need it NOW!"

We want it NOW.
I have rights, you know.
"They" owe me.

Who, exactly is "they"?  Our employer? The government?  'Fate' and 'fortune'?  Perhaps even God? Obviously this is whomever we blame for the circumstances in which we find ourselves.

We've already looked at a few of these:  I deserve to see my kids grow up.  I deserve to grow old with my spouse.
(See prior posts, yada, yada, yada.)

We feel entitled to live the good life, the American dream: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  I'm entitled to receive preferential treatment, entitled to forgiveness, entitled to have my shortcomings overlooked.  Am I entitled to material blessings, physical comfort, maybe even beauty.  I deserve a large settlement for my work-related injury.  I deserve a handout.  Maybe it is more subtle:  would I feel robbed if my employer delays or eliminates the expected annual cost of living raise. 

Entitlement is the archenemy of thankfulness.  It is a very cancer that is eating away at the financial stability of our country.  It eats away at the contentment in our communities.  Interestingly, I did not witness much entitlement when I spent a summer in Bangkok.  It seems to be the epidemic of the industrialized nation, the so-called enlightened.

I don't think 'entitlement' is a 21st century burden, and, despite my experience in Thailand, it is not just American. 

"For the Kingdom of Heaven is like a man who was the master of a household, who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard.  When he had agreed with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. He went out about the third hour, and saw others standing idle in the marketplace. To them he said, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and whatever is right I will give you.’ So they went their way. Again he went out about the sixth and the ninth hour, and did likewise. About the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle. He said to them, ‘Why do you stand here all day idle?’ "They said to him, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ "He said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and you will receive whatever is right.’ When evening had come, the lord of the vineyard said to his steward, ‘Call the laborers and pay them their wages, beginning from the last to the first.’ "When those who were hired at about the eleventh hour came, they each received a denarius.  When the first came, they supposed that they would receive more; and they likewise each received a denarius. When they received it, they murmured against the master of the household, saying, ‘These last have spent one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat!’ "But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong. Didn’t you agree with me for a denarius? Take that which is yours, and go your way. It is my desire to give to this last just as much as to you. Isn’t it lawful for me to do what I want to with what I own? Or is your eye evil, because I am good?’ So the last will be first, and the first last. For many are called, but few are chosen."  --Matt 20:1-16 

Even rewards in Heaven are not proportional to your worldly 'time served.'  It doesn't seem very fair by our standards.

My favorite Relient K lyric says this:

And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.

How does grace make life not fair?   What would have been 'fair'?  The Biblical 'expectation' is clear: 

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.  --Romans 3:23-24

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. --Romans 6:23

So let's take another look at the Biblical expectation: 
I deserve _________.
I have sinned.  I deserve death.  
Worse, I deserve separation from God.

What, then, is "the beauty of grace which makes life not fair"?  'Fair' as defined by Biblical standards, is that I deserve to die.  Grace is unearned favor from God.

What do I deserve?
I don't deserve anything short of death.  I am more than grateful for the grace of God through Jesus Christ in my life.  I am indebted to this Messiah who makes my life 'unfair' by offering me grace.  It is by the grace of God that I am allowed to breathe, run, blog, climb, resonate, etc.  I pray that I may to do those things for His glory (all the while attempting to get myself out of the way).

What do you deserve?