Introspection

With everything that has happened in Haiti lately, I've been rather introspective. 

I am realizing that my profession as a Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation physician is pretty much useful only in an industrialized nation.  I recall pursuing Rehabilitation Medicine because I have a heart for the disabled.  My role, however, involves diagnosing incurable conditions, prescribing therapy (which I do not do), medications (which few can afford), doing nerve testing (with equipment available/useful only in buildings with electricity), and prescribing adaptive equipment, devices, orthotics and prosthetics (that are also not available in third world countries).  So I'm little use outside an industrialized nation.

I may soon be of little use in a government health care system.  The Medicare policies each year bring more and more cuts, which are becoming steep enough to jeopardize hospital margins nationwide, and the red tape, paperwork, middle men, and policies are burdensome, and ultimately ration care while failing to contain costs.  I'm wondering what job I will do once Medicine tanks (which is probably in my near-future).

I'm wondering if I should stay in Scottsbluff or head to Colorado, where my heart lies.  This, thankfully, is not a question that keeps me awake at night.  I could be happy just about anywhere.

Probably the crux of the matter is that I'm wondering if the Second Coming will come, already.  The more I think about it, I am turning into one of those crazy Jesus-freaks that talks too much about Heaven and sounds like I have a death wish.  I am not suicidal or fatalistic--I'm just listening to the earth groaning (and me along with it), thinking it would be good to just get this earthly labor over with.  Gracefully depart.  Fly away, oh glory.  Something tells me I have a long way to go... Bummer.