Lie #5

Don't get too engrossed in this little poem here.
I fully intend to rip it apart on behalf of Lie of the World #5:  Self-esteem is a virtue.  (Fitting title for the poem, huh?)

Hello World

I am amazing
Incredible me
Celebrating the being
I choose to be

I am uniquely spectacular
I am one of a kind
Creativity oozes
From my heart and mind

I'm stupendous, tremendous
I stand out from the crowd
I do things
That aren't allowed

I'm inspired, desired
I'm wonderfully weird
I am unbridled passion
I am highly revered

I'm outrageous, contagious
I am daring and bold
I am honored and cherished
I'm a treasure to hold

I am gifted, uplifted
I am endlessly blessed
I am sought out
For the skills I possess

I'm delightful, insightful
I am loved and adored
I live a charmed life
I'm renewed and restored

I am greateful, elateful
I am centered and wise
I am wealthy and worthy
I am God in disguise

I declare my brilliance
It won't be denied
The world cries out
For what I provide

I am powerful, masterful
I am focused and clear
Life beams brighter
Because I am here

I am blazing, amazing
I can't be contained
I'm a glorious fabulous
Radiant flame

I choose to exude
All this and much more
My wings are spread
Watch me soar!

--Dan Coppersmith

I have a sensitive tooth that groans at me when I provoke it with cold or sweet food items.  I think I may have felt a twinge just typing the poem.  So, once you've finished choking on the saccharin, take a breath and long look at what you believe about self-esteem.  You may equate Dan Coppersmith with the Daily Affirmations of Stuart Smalley, but chances are, you associate self-esteem with happiness and success.

On one hand, self-esteem refers to a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.  It can also refer to an inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of oneself.

The online thesaurus says this about self-esteem:

Main Entry:	self-respect/self-esteem
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	pride in oneself
Synonyms:	amour-propre, conceit, confidence, dignity, egotism, faith in oneself, morale, narcissism, self-assurance, self-content, self-regard, self-satisfaction, vanity, worth
Antonyms:	self-doubt, uncertainty

 __________

What does the Bible say about self-esteem?   

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-esteem, right?  Um, no.

They these on for size:

For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.  --Romans 12:3

Therefore, as it is written: “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”  --1 Corinthians 1:31

 __________

Although self-deprecation is probably a bad idea, a realistic self-concept is probably not a bad idea.  We as Christians should maintain some measure of self-respect.  We have to regard ourselves as something in order to respect others.

Jesus replied:  'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. --Matthew 22:37-40

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. --Philippians 2:3

After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. --Ephesians 5:29

 __________

Although I cannot find any passages in the Bible to support the notion that I should lift myself up, there are ample passages about lifting up others.

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; someone else, and not your own lips.  --Proverbs 27:2

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. --1 Thessalonians 5:10

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  --Hebrews 10:24

 __________

We get encouragement from our Christian brothers and sisters, but where do we truly find our value?

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up. --James 4:10

What do you think?  
Is self-esteem a lie we've just grown accustomed to?

Lie #4

I'm afraid I may not do this topic justice.  I could probably write on this for days, but I will attempt to get my thoughts out and move on.  Fabulous post planned for later this week...

On to lie #4:  Death is bad and to be feared.

Those of us who are believers would readily recognize this statement as a lie.  But sometimes even our prayers deceive us.  We pray routinely for the healing of our sick.  Not a bad thing; God indeed hears prayers and has the power to heal.  Jesus wept and showed mercy when visiting the home of a deceased loved one.  If our loved one succumbs to illness, however, does that make us question God's power?  His love? 

The subject of death is fittingly encircled with a sense of loss and dread.  We fear our own death in many ways, and we often take steps to ensure our personal safety.  That need for security may actually separate us from the needy, however.  The parable of the Good Samaritan depicts this quite nicely:  the religious men crossed the street to avoid a victim on the roadside.  Do we avoid interacting with the homeless if they represent a threat?  Even simpler, do we hesitate to speak truth in settings in which we feel insecure?  Fear breeds inaction.  (James 4:17 says that "if anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it, it is sin for them."  But that could be a blog all to itself, couldn't it?)  Has our desperate need for security, safety, and possibly approval made us mute and blind? 

1 Thessalonias 4 (one of my favorite passages, and previously quoted in my 'Nostalgia' blog) speaks of the coming of the Lord like this:

13 Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.14 We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.15 According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep.16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.
18 Therefore encourage each other with these words. 

With eager anticipation, we should be discussing our home in Heaven with one another.  We should remind one another not to hold too tightly to this earth and this fallen world; it is not our home.

Is this really a synopsis of my first two 'Lie' posts?
1.  I will get to see my children grow old. 
2.  I will get to grow old with my spouse.

Death is bad and to be feared.

I don't think so.  I think that once we loosen our grip on the things of this earth, we are more fully enabled to reach for and seek the Divine.  Once I recognize that this world is not my home, then honestly, what do I have to lose?
Not only is my security, but my very life is worth abandoning.  Worry and fear no longer control my words and actions.  If I am willing to speak truth to the point that my very life is endangered, then should I fear chastisement, or being an outcast?

Look up.  The vultures are already circling-- this life is short enough.  Why NOT take a Godly risk that you've been considering? What do you have to lose?  Are you willing to give up that which is temporary or frivolous in order to claim that which is eternal?

Lie #3

Do you ever get the feeling like your life falls short of the expectations you have of it?  Do you feel like you are missing out on "the good life" as everyone refers to it?  Let's explore Lie #3:

Life should be without pain or trial.

I think most of us, when we sit and ponder this, agree that this is indeed, a lie.  Seems like a no-brainer.  But that is not how most of us live.

When we inherit a medical condition, we feel unjustly punished.  If we are injured on the job, we feel robbed not only of our former (uninjured) selves, but also our future earnings.  Shouldn't we be entitled to something?

Whether or not we are ambitious, most of us have a vision or foresight of what this life will bring to us:  I will be raised by loving parents.  I will go to school.  I will get my degree.  I will marry the right spouse.  I will have children.  I will fulfill my role in the world, and it will fulfill me.  I will watch my children grow up, and my spouse and I will grow old together.  (You may recall that I've already debunked those last two in my prior blogs this week.)  I will be healthy.  I will die a quick and painless death.  Burden is the last thing I wish to take upon my journey here.

Cancer does not fit into this plan.  Infertility is not a burden that we planned on.  Or, closer to home: we did not anticipate the hail storm which prompted a new roof and car repairs, which, mind you, were not in the budget.  I never thought that I would be disabled.  I won't ever need a nursing home-- I'll make sure my kids promise never....

Good, healthy people can be ravaged by Alzheimer's dementia.  Car accidents can forever change the course of a person's life, causing chronic pain, depression, sleep dysfunction, weight gain, disability, loss of a job, loss of a home, bankruptcy, and this list goes on.

Many of us attempt to exert control over certain aspects of our lives to prevent the unthinkable.  I spend responsibly, eat healthy, I am compliant with my doctor's advice, pay my taxes, wear my seatbelt.  But no matter how "good" we are, bad things can descend upon us, uninvited.

I could go on and on about Job, the righteous man who was subjected to the outstretched striking hand of God.  I'd rather use this verse, which sits on my computer monitor at work, as an hourly reminder:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  (James 1:2-3)

Key words: joy, trials, testing, perseverance?  No; the key word is WHENEVER (notice it does not say "IF EVER").  We are guaranteed to have trials of many kinds.  Thankfully, trials, burdens, and pain are not a total loss (even though it seems like it at the time).  Numerous virtues spring forth at the expense of suffering:

And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  (Romans 5: 2b-4)

Life should be without pain or trial.

You know this is a distortion of the truth, but have you ever reeled in shock when burden was placed upon you?  Who would we actually be without the trials and tribulations in our lives?

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)

Sailing Into a Storm (lawrence.ecorp.net)

Lie #2

The problem with expectations is that, when they fall apart, we are left questioning,  maybe even blaming.  Americans tend to believe that God wants us to be happy.  When we are not happy, we may blame someone, even God Himself. 

Here, I present Lie #2:

I will get to grow old with my spouse.

There is no doubt that I HOPE to grow old with my spouse.  It is a different thing entirely to EXPECT it.  Would you question God and His Divine purpose if your spouse were to die suddenly tomorrow?  Would you curse or hate Him?

(Incidentally I do not believe that God's purpose is to ensure my happiness.)

In Luke 20, the Sadducees try to stump Jesus with a pickle of a question.  I guess when you are a Sadducee, you hang out with your Sadducee buddies and debate various legalities.  I'll defer to Luke's storytelling:

28 "Teacher," they said, "Moses wrote for us that if a man's brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother. 29 Now there were seven brothers. The first one married a woman and died childless. 30 The second and then the third married her, and in the same way the seven died, leaving no children. 32 Finally, the woman died too. 33 Now then, at the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?" (Wow.  Kind of makes you wonder if they had a real-life application for this.  Doubtful.)

34 Jesus replied, "The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. 35 But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, 36 and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God's children, since they are children of the resurrection.


Does this mean that there will be no marriage in Heaven?  When I first read that, I was troubled. It seemed incongruent with the character of God.

The crux of the Old Testament is that God seeks out His people, creates a covenant bond with Israel, and remains faithful to that covenant despite Israel's unfaithfulness.  God also created the covenant of marriage, and expects us to keep that covenant as well.  Mark 10 says that "a man shall leave his father and mother 8  and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh.  9 What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate" (emphasis mine).  

Does this mean that God can separate us?   
Would God separate us?

I love my husband Jon, and he is a monumental blessing in my life.  I do not believe that our lives are done when Jon and I depart this earth, thanks to the grace bestowed upon us by God through the death and resurrection of His son.  But I am not certain whether we will be husband and wife in Heaven; scripture may suggest otherwise.  But this I know:  God is everything good.  The things I love about Jon are, in a way, a reflection of part of the character of God.  Jon is the embodiment of blessing to me from God.  When my turn comes to meet my Maker, I will be in the presence of everything good, and will be at peace, and that is all that matters.

But I digress.

Does the world tell me that I will get to grow old with my spouse?
Do we expect it in such a way that we question our Maker when our spouse is taken from us 'before their time?'
What do you think?

Lie #1

And so begins the list of lies.

I honestly feel that these are lies we believe unknowingly and sometimes, unquestioningly.

We know some of the obvious ones:
For example, "Money makes people happy."  Most of us recognize this as a lie, even if we don't all live in that reality.

I want to expose more subtle lies; the ones that creep into us and control our thoughts and actions.  I imagine many of these lies come from the world, and the father of lies himself.  When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44).

So here is lie #1:

I will get to see my children grow up.




Doubt was cast on this lie after the death of our second daughter, Camille, through stillbirth.   It was a blow, but also a lesson.  The pain has diminished, but the gained perspective remains: my eyes were opened and I started to pay attention to some of my preconceived notions.  And I began writing the List of Lies.

I may be mowed over by a snow plow during tomorrow's run (and sadly you'd all be deprived of the 'lies' I have reserved for future blog posts). My daughter may be diagnosed with cancer next week, and die before she sees the other side of 16.

Multiple different faiths document in their scriptures a righteous Hebrew man named Job, who suffered the death of nearly his entire family. The Bible gives no guarantee that we will see our children grow up. (Granted, Job was exonerated and blessed with a new family and "after this, Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation." -Job 42:16)

David sings about this in Psalm 128 (NIV):
4 Yes, this will be the blessing
for the man who fears the LORD.
5 May the LORD bless you from Zion;
may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem
all the days of your life.
6 May you live to see your children’s children—
peace be on Israel.

Was it a promise?  A guarantee?  Honestly, I don't think so.  Fast forward several centuries:  The New Testament depicts a lead character who dies before His time (think J-e-s-u-s).  God did not spare even His own Son. 

I will get to see my children grow up.
Is this is a lie of the world?

How could it change our thoughts, actions, and behaviors if we live in the daily awareness that our kids may depart this earth prematurely, or that we may die unexpectedly?

Lies (Intro)

So I've been keeping yet another list in my phone. 
(Who would've guessed?)

This list is one that I started about 5 years ago, and have been adding to periodically when the thoughts hit me.

It is a list of LIES.

A list of lies I've been told.  Lies told to me by the world, the media, and maybe even my families, friends, coworkers, leaders, and mentors. 

They are all lies that I believed at one time.  Maybe some of them were simply unspoken expectations I've come to realize are wrong.  But they are all UNTRUTHS nonetheless.  Maybe you'll recognize a few.

I have compiled a list of 16 (sixteen) lies that we will explore in the coming days.  Chances are, I'll think of more and the list will grow.

Tune in tomorrow for Lie #1.

(Image: www.Freelancefolder.com)

Unity

Upon returning to Western Nebraska from Christmas vacation in Texas, I was surprised at my reaction to returning home.  I felt not only relief, but joy and contentment at returning to the middle-of-nowhere-Nebraska. In fact, I'm feeling more at home here than I have in quite some time.

Within me, there is a spring of restlessness that wells up from time to time, urging me to float onward to other things, other places. I crave the city, the mountains, adventure; the rhythm of life that I have found in Colorado.  But strangely, this year, I'm almost to the point of calling myself a Nebraskan.  Almost.  (My response to the "Scottsbluff, where is that?" question remains "A small town in Nebraska about 3 hours north of Denver.")

Given its size and proximity, there should be an overwhelming sense of community in our little bluffed boroughs.  Although we are a community, Scottsbluff, Gering, and Terrytown lack a certain unity.  Despite being located in the same 10 mile square area, these little settlements stand opposed. 

A mutual resentment has grown up in Western Nebraska, fueled by a long history of competition.  What separates us, other than the North Platte River?  Ingrained attitudes.  Pride.  Entitlement.  Maybe even envy.  Whan I ask locals about their reason for opposing consolidation of our little communities, I hear things like this:
"There will always be the Scottsbluff Bearcats and the Gering Bulldogs."
"I don't want change."
"We don't need to grow."
"I don't want new businesses."

After each snow, it seems that Gering residents seek to outdo Scottsbluff residents, and vice versa, as if there is some award for having endured two additional inches of snow compared to the other burg. 

There are disparate police departments, park systems, newspapers, city governments.  The recently-elected Gering City Mayor takes a strong stance against consolidation of the city government and public services.
On the flip side, we have a united chamber of commerce.  We also take great pride in our most recent local celebrity, Teresa Scanlan, who at age 17, is the youngest Miss America in modern pageant history, and is equipped to well-represent our state.  Yet, on Sunday when we celebrated her recent crowning, a lone voice stood above the crowd at church to clarify that she is, indeed, from Gering, and not Scottsbluff.

Why must we divide ourselves so sharply along lines that hold no true meaning?

Even among members of our family, with whom we hold so many similarities, we seem to magnify the differences.  Our closest friends may share our political beliefs, our menu preferences, our wardrobes, our parenting philosophies, our musical tastes, and similar interpretations of the Bible, but if we differ in our leisure pursuits (or even the sports teams they support), we find some wedge of unrest.  Within the church, we've divided ourselves into little factions based on doctrines we are comfortable with, creating denominations.  Even in our local congregations, we can always find differences that irritate us.  What great distances are created with such small wedges.

Since the Tower of Babel, I am not sure that people have been of one mind.  We've discovered opinion, and passion.  And here in America, we've also found entitlement and free speech.  Perhaps we should be pursuing unity beyond the walls of our local congregation.  If we ignore the doctrinal barriers, we could seek community with our neighbors, even if they are the Calvinist congregation down the street.

Meanwhile, I will continue to support the notion that consolidation of Scottsbluff, Gering, and Terrytown has merit.   We should pick a commonality that unites us all:  
Monument, Nebraska anyone?
I promise we could still have the Scottsbluff Bearcats and Gering Bulldogs.  And perhaps so much more.


1 Corinthians 1:10 (NIV) I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.